David is thinking about the meat faerie (zoomardav) wrote,
David is thinking about the meat faerie

The downstairs neighbors and the air horn

The man who lives below us is deaf. His wife is not.

She and he do not sleep in the same room. She is sick.

For some reason, she might need his attention late at night. We are unclear if this is an emergency, loneliness or some of kind of sexual red alert that requires his immediate attention.

Their solution to this problem is for her to have an air horn next to her bed while she sleeps and if the need arises for her to get her husbands attention, she blasts the horn in a short bleet.

If he doesn't hear it, she does a series of longer blurts in an odd off-kilter rhythm.

Sometimes she needs him at 2 AM sometimes 3 PM.

I hate that horn

I tried to talk to him about it, but he's deaf and he won't turn on his hearing aid. He just thinks I'm complimenting him about his dog.

Maybe I'll just buy them a skein of twine. She can tie a loop around his toe, or whatever body part she finds appropriate according to need, and tug when she desires his presence.

At least he stopped trying to listen to jazz. That shook one of our paintings off the wall.
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