David is thinking about the meat faerie (zoomardav) wrote,
David is thinking about the meat faerie

Grouchy Chef- The Next Chapter

No Muddy Shoes!

You may remember my last post about the Grouchy Chef . Well, the Seattle Times might do an update of their review, so Mark and I went for a quick bite. Did I get yelled at? Yes. Yes I did.

On first stepping into the Grouchy Chef's tiny waiting area the crowd of people waiting pushed me back up against the door. Looking to my side, I noticed an empty area behind an oddly placed chair. I picked the chair up and moved it about a foot away from the door.

The next thing I knew a booming voice called out, "Put that chair back! You'll scratch the floor."

Less than 20 seconds into the restaurant and I could already tell that the spirit of the man hadn't changed. I moved the chair back and choked out an apology in a weak squeaky voice I haven't had since puberty.

Mark and I waited patiently. He bravely stepped forward and grabbed a menu that said, "DO NOT TAKE THIS HOME!" in large letters on the front where most business might put a logo or a picture of one of their more popular dishes. The menu hadn't changed since we were last there.

The signs have changed. I managed to copy down the long message on the drink machine without getting yelled at. All other signs we mention are paraphrased from our memory. The drink machine sign read, "I'm no longer
able to give away any soda or lemonade because of a 9.27% rent hike for this space which is already super high rent to start with. Refills now cost .46. Thank you very much for a few people who voluntarily showed firm integrity, ethics and honesty when the accidental consumption of merchandise occurred."

But, when we got to the front of the link to order, we weren't even given the opportunity to ask for soda. As soon as we named our entree he quickly put tiny water glasses down in front of us and order, "These are for your water."

We sat down. I got yelled at again for having my notebook too far into the next seat over's table space. Again, I apologized, feeling myself slipping into the mind set of Vincent D'Onofrio's character in Full Metal Jacket
being asked by his drill sergeant, "What is your major malfunction, numb nuts!?!"

You'll meet me in HELL!

But, some of the signage was softer in tone. Instead of threatening physical violence if you scratch his walls, he now warns that he "may have to give you a hard time." And in amongst his threats about children and such, there is a helpful sign telling you that chewing gum before a meal may lessen your ability to taste your food. Mint gum is especially bad.

But, the food was delicious. I had the beef skewers with spicy sauce and they were perfectly cooked and the spice perfect. Even the fried potato on the plate was perfect.

A lady on crutches sat down near us just as we were finishing. She leaned in and said, "This guy is just like the soup Nazi on Seinfeld."

Mark looked at her sternly and said, "Could you please keep your voice down? We'd like to eat here again."

No Public Restrooms Here!
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