David is thinking about the meat faerie (zoomardav) wrote,
David is thinking about the meat faerie

Dealing With the Monkey Problem

I don't know if you've been following the monkey problems in India, but they're pretty severe. Monkeys have been attacking humans and even killed the Deputy Mayor of New Dehli. The government doesn't seem to want to actually solve the problem and keeps coming up with strange non-solutions.

First, they tried to hire monkey catchers by putting ad in the paper, but it turned out that monkey catchers are all illiterate so no one answered. Then, they brought in one monkey catcher to handle the whole city. It was like dropping a pebble in the ocean.

Now, they have come up with their latest awesome solution. They are going to train unemployed youths to catch and then sterilize monkeys with laser. That's right, they're going to give 16 year old boys laser surgery tools, tell them to catch monkeys and then have them perform the procedure.

I don't think I need to point out the flaws in this plan, they are many and obvious. However, I especially enjoyed one of the flaws that an expert pointed out in the AP article:

"It is a ridiculous idea and what is worse, it will do nothing to contain the problem and probably make it worse," Chaudhuri said. "Can you imagine what having badly sterilized monkeys running around will do to the levels of aggression?"

Now, I can add badly sterilized monkeys to my list of fears.

Genius Chimp!
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