David is thinking about the meat faerie (zoomardav) wrote,
David is thinking about the meat faerie

Random Story

Had our carpet cleaned today.

Asked the guy what the worst job he ever had was, he told me it was this morning.

First job of the day, he showed up to a woman's house and as soon as she opened the door he was overwhelmed with the odor of urine. She took him inside and showed him the living room carpet. It was bright yellow. He asked, as they do with all older carpets, what the original color was. She told him it was dark brown.

He said he started thinking about how a carpet could go from brown to yellow when one of her big dogs started peeing in the middle of the room.

"Good thing you're here," she said, "you're just in time!"

He barely got outside before he threw up. The terrible smell is what finely did it. When he told her that he wouldn't clean it and that she needed to have it replaced because there was a serious health risk, she nodded along.

"I know," she said, "that's what the health department told me, but I thought if you cleaned it I could wait until next year."

After he told me the story, he said he felt dirty and that his shirt still smelled like her house.
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