David is thinking about the meat faerie (zoomardav) wrote,
David is thinking about the meat faerie

Inflatable Wild Swan - Hilarious Japanese Practical Joke

While perusing Daiso, the Japanese equivalent of a 99 cent store, I stumbled across this "Inflatable Wild Swan". I bought a few of them. When I went to the cashier, a bored teenage girl, she looked at them, looked at me and then said, "So, you having a party or something?"

A quick internet search revealed multiple pictures of this, but no one took a picture of the actual product. The package is awesome:

Inflatable Wild Swan

The directions on the back are immediately a classic in the annals of novelty practical jokes:

Inflatable Wild Swan Instructions

To state the obvious, this is a an inflatable swan that you are supposed to use as a joke penis. Most novelty products try and make the person playing the joke look smart or cool, but not the inflatable wild swan! This product advertises that is for the use of creepy guys with mustaches. Note that this guy is wearing long underwear, missing a tooth and has a hole in sock with his big toe sticking through.

The more complex joke is that there is a ballerina wearing it. You know, because she doesn't have a penis it's ironic... I mean incongruous... Umm... Well, anyway it's funny.

As with most novelty products, the actual joke isn't as good as the package. Here is the swan:

Uninflated Inflatable Wild Swan

It doesn't look too much like a penis, but this is before the inflation.By the way, you don't inflate it by blowing it. No, you squeeze it until the chemical packet inside breaks and starts the process. It inflates pretty quickly, about 20 seconds. Immediately after that, you are ready for a few rounds of dick, dick, goose.

The tape on the back that you are supposed to use to attach it to your pants is actually very weak. I don't think it's strong enough to hold its own weight. But, it was perfect for attaching it to my Carol Channing Vent Fig. Which is possibly the only thing as creepy as the Mario brother pervert on the package and, well, an inflatable wild swan.

Carol Channing Ventriloquist Figure Wearing Inflatable Swan

So, $1.50 at Daiso! In the kids section by the fake samurai wigs and inflatable boobs. Because there is nothing kids enjoy more than a pervy old man pretending an inanimate object is his penis.
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