David is thinking about the meat faerie (zoomardav) wrote,
David is thinking about the meat faerie

Genetically Modified Super Squirrels

You may remember from my posts last year that the squirrels in our neighborhood have been acting strange. One attacked me and another ran down out of a tree and into Roscoe's side in some kind of strange squirrel head-butting exercise. At the time, I wrote this off as just overcrowding in the park. Too many squirrels with too little food. My theory has now expanded. I think that there is a group of scientists posing as homeless men who live in the park and are doing dangerous, possibly government sponsered, genetic modifications on the squirrels.

No longer do we have the cute, fuzzy squirrel with the nut filled cheeks playfully scampering away as we approach. No, we have filthy, aggressive monster squirrels that stare us down as we pass and dare us to approach them. Not only that, BUT THEY CAN CLIMB BRICK WALLS!

Genetically Modified Squirrel Clings to the Wall Spidey Style

The first time I saw one do this, I was shocked. They treat buildings as if they were trees. All the better for squadron of government issued assassin squirrels to sneak into your room and gnaw you to death as you sleep. If someone suurprises them in the act, they'll all scatter as if they were regular squirrels. But, these aren't regular squirrels.

There are no acorns in their cheeks, their cheeks are loaded with human flesh.
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