David is thinking about the meat faerie (zoomardav) wrote,
David is thinking about the meat faerie

Monkey Glands for Anecdotage

Here are a few fun phrases that have popped up in my life in the last couple of weeks.

"There is nothing sexier than a girl in a shiny, puffy coat. Damn girl, you look fine!"

This stuck in my head because a giant, puffy, silver coat is the kind of thing that hides the person wearing it. So, to think that is probably an odd kind of fetish. It was a very puffy coat and the girl was wearing sunglasses. The guy who said it was probably in his low 20s.
"Well, next time try wearing panties. Would you like some chewing gum."

This was said in Pagliacci Pizza. A mother was saying it to her 5 or 6 year old daughter as I approached. I don't know if the panties and gum are connected.
"Monkey Glands For Anecdotage"

This phrase popped up in a book I'm doing research in for work. (Top secret!) It was a section heading to a section of a book published in the late 20s. I figured it must be some kind of outdated cliche or turn of speech, but a little research revealed a lot more than that!

It wasn't in any of my reference books, so I googled "monkey glands".

It seems around 1920-30 there was a doctor named Serge Voronoff who convinced people that if they implanted pieces of monkey glands in their testicles, it would increase potency and make them age slower. His evidence for this was that eunuchs age faster than non-eunuchs.

Pablo Picasso was said to have been a patient.

Because the phrase was both sexual and crudely poetic, there was a drink named after it called, of course, a Monkey Gland. Here is a recipe for it:

1 ounce gin
1 ounce orange juice
1 dash grenadine
1 dash anise (probably originally absinthe; Pernod or Benedictine are often substituted now)

So, "Monkey Glands for Anecdotage" translates into something like, "Tell me a story and I'll give you a drink."

If you are interested, here is an article that explains a lot of this and goes into more detail on the use of goat glands just across the Mexican border for similar purposes.

Here is something ee cummings wrote about Dr. Voronoff.

A drawing of Dr. Voronoff and an assistant wrestling a monkey down.

If you try the drink, let me know how it tastes. If you try the monkey testicle youth treatment, keep it to yourself.

Kevin is a Free Bitch
This is a rather small rock hidden away in the park next to my house.
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