The line that caught my attention was a screamed, "I have my guardian angel and spirit guide with me all the time. How much more fucking spiritual can you get than that?!?"
That sounds crowded to me. Reminds me of those creepy Jesus statues where he's playing basketball with kids or watching someone mow the lawn. The difference being that instead of just one guy, you have a couple of guys watching you. Imagine if you had a guardian angel, a spirit guide, your totem animal, a dead relative, Jim Morrison, Jesus, Buddha and a Catholic Saint.
That would be a great statue.
How much more fucking spiritual can you get than that?