David is thinking about the meat faerie (zoomardav) wrote,
David is thinking about the meat faerie

The show...

Sorry for lack of style and detail and proofreading. I'm tired. But, I feel like if I don't write this today, I won't write it.

When I arrived in LA, I actually was met by a driver holding a sign with my name on it. The spelling was completely mangled, Whal, which made it that much better.

His name was Clifton. We started walking to the limo. I told him it was my first time in LA and he put his arm out. "We can't walk to the limo. You have to wait here. I'm going to pull it around."

So, he left me there for fifteen minutes while he pulled the limo around so that I could have the full experience. It was a giant black stretch limo, waxed and perfect. He then, got out, ran around and opened the door for me.

He said, "THAT is how you arrive in LA."

Hilarious! I got in and felt like I was on Pimp My Ride. The ceiling was covered with a mirror that had been done up to look like a pond, complete with lily pads. The walls were lined with backlit champagne glasses.

I asked him to point out anything interesting we passed. He said, "Well, that's the Galleria Mall and that's Univision. They broadcast in Spanish. There really isn't anything else interesting until we get to G4."

When we got there, I couldn't remember any contact person's name. Security really wanted to let me in, I think the stretch limo signaled that I wasn't a terrorist. So, I just told them I was there to meet someone whose name started with T. The lady wrote "Tim" on my badge, under David, and pointed toward their offices. I wandered around the offices for a while.

The carpet was cool. Every few feet there is a video game icon in one of the carpet squares. By the greenrooms, they have the history of the game controller. From Atari 2600 joystick to whatever the latest one is.

There was a big glass walled room with lots of people playing games around a circular table. Eventually, I got a nerdy guy, duh, to give me directions to the booking agents area. I wandered back to their area.

A nice woman escorted me to the greenroom. Which had internet access and no food. Everyone apologized for the lack of food. Then, Scott came in and greeted me and apologized for there not being any food and for how old the computer was. This was the funniest part to me, I had a handler. He kind of had to stay and talk with me and make sure I was OK. It cracked me up. I'm happy to just read in silence. But, he prompted me for stories and stuff, so I talked. Scott was great.

Strangely, he told me was that he can't play 1st person video games, just side scrollers and stationary screen games. He gets motion sickness. Which seems strange for a G4 employee. But, he said he's in charge of the non-video game segments.

The host, Kevin, came in to talk to me. He was really smart and nice. Fast talker, you probably got that from watching the show.

After that, they had me order food, and apologized again for not having food there. Or drinks. After I ate, I got my makeup on. They have a closet where the girls all work. I should say, everywhere you turn in their offices, there are screens with either the network playing or video games being played. As soon as you walked into the makeup and costume area, that all changed. In there, they had Oprah playing.

I said, "Hey, you guys don't have to watch G4?"

The makeup woman said, "We don't like that stuff."

On the wall there was a polaroid of the host, Kevin, dressed as a playboy bunny.

Out to the studio. Lots of couches and director's chairs. I was on during the B segment. I watched the set up for my segment and tell Kevin to just throw the stuff off to the side. OK, if you want me to throw it, I'll throw it.

The segment went by super fast. I didn't get to say half of what I wanted to, but we ripped through so many products I was happy. Immediately after the cameras turned off, Kevin apologized to everyone for having to pick all the toys up off the floor.

I was swept off to the side. Scott got a release for me to sign and I went to wait for my car. The car was late, so again, everyone apologized to me. I think I was apologized to more yesterday than any other day in my life.

I got my swag shirt and hat, both way too small for me.

Finally, an SUV showed up, no more Clifton and the stretch limo. This was Terrance. Terrance will get his own journal entry when I'm less tired. But the SUV was beat up, knobs missing from the dash and he was listening to Tom Lycus full blast.

The first thing he asked me was whether or not I would mind if we stopped for coffee, he'd been driving for 14 hours. So, we went to 7-11 and I watched them unpack huge cases of Sylvester Stallone brand pudding.

(Blank to be filled in later)

At the airport, there were lots of Asian kids in giant sombreros on their way back from Mexico. My favorite overheard line in the airport was a couple eating nasty looking airport Burger King food. When they finished, the wife turned to the husband and said, 'There, now, aren't you glad we waited to eat at the airport."

When I talked to Nancy on the phone she said she'd already watched it five times and that she was really proud of me. That made me really happy.

After watching it today, all I can say is, geez, I need a haircut.
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