David is thinking about the meat faerie (zoomardav) wrote,
David is thinking about the meat faerie

Grocery Store

The alterna-couple in back of me in line at Larry's Market had this exchange:

Woman: "When I had that dream about us having sex in a grocery store, were we in Safeway?"

Man: "Uh, Yeah..."

I pressed the button on my bracelet to summon Tony.*

He had his nightcap on when he landed in the street outside.

"David, I'm sorry it took me so long. I was napping."

I said, "I didn't know robots took naps."

"Well, we do. What did you want?"

"I think the woman behind me is hungry for attention. She's saying things where other people can hear them that she thinks will make her more interesting than she actually is. Do you think you could give her an ego boost and let her know that she's good enough?"

"Gosh David, I'll try, but psychology isn't really my specialty. I mostly beat things up."

I thought for just a second, "Ok, just crush her in your fist."

And he did.

* Tony is an imaginary giant robot I am pretending to own. All the text in italics didn't actually happen.
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