A boy who kept his money up his butt.
It wasn't sterile but he didn't care.
He'd fold a twenty and shove it up there.
But Johnny's friends were a leeching lot
taking coin and bill from his well stocked bot
"Johnny, buy us a drink, a pizza, a meal!"
Friendship for money was the going deal.
Their life was good for a little while,
Johnny supported their fast lane style
Until the ATM behind Mutt's loins
Stopped giving paper bills and switched to coins.
Then, on the day rent was due, Johnny farted,
but, no money leaked when his cheeks parted.
Kicked out on the street, all lost and forlorn
you can't pay rent with undigested corn.
So, keep your friend's hands out of your ass
Because, no matter how rich, this to shall pass.
Look out for number one, is what you should do
Or your life, like Johnny's, becomes number two.