David is thinking about the meat faerie (zoomardav) wrote,
David is thinking about the meat faerie

My new DVD player.

My DVD player broke a couple of weeks ago under mysterious circumstances. (That means I don't know what was wrong with it and am not tech savvy enough to look into it, so I chucked the whole thing into the area of my brain marked "Here Be Dragons" and refuse to think about it.) Less than fifteen minutes after it stopped working I was in my car to buy another one. I did no research about DVD players. I just knew that I wanted to pay less than $75 and there were a few features I wanted. (I like the magnify function even thought I rarely use it.) I bought the most expensive single disk player at Fred Meyer ($64) and brought it home.

I am still working out the ins and outs of it, but it has one feature I don't understand at all. It's called "sound effect", you press the button and it makes everyone sound like they are talking in an echo chamber. It even has three levels of echo, so they can sound like they are in a sewer or they can sound like they are screaming off the side of the grand canyon. Why? I don't know.

The other new feature I love! If you fast forward at 1.5 times, they leave the sound on. You can understand the voices. This is great. I have been renting documentaries from Netflix and just burning through them. If there is any artistry to the thing, I watch it on normal speed. But, if it is mediocre or bad, I can watch the whole thing on super speed.

Plus, I feel like I'm one of those guys in a science fiction movie that just got his intelligence increased by an alien race and is burning through information on a screen while all the other characters stand around and talk about how he read the entire encyclopedia in an hour. I'd love to be that guy! Until I got all evil and tried to take over the ship and/or planet. That usually ends badly.
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