David is thinking about the meat faerie (zoomardav) wrote,
David is thinking about the meat faerie

Just Vun Puff... Try It Meine Freund...

A friend of mine just went in for surgery. He had to be at the hospital at 6AM. When he got there, he was corralled into a room with everyone who was getting surgery that day to answer questions from the nurses and sign forms. He said that there was a cranky as hell grizzled old guy next him snapping answers at his cute 20-something nurse.

The nurse asked the guy if he smoked.

The guy said, "Hell yes!"

The nurse asked how long he'd smoked.

The guy said, "How long? Hitler taught me to smoke! That's how long."

He said the nurse just checked a box and continued with the next question.

I imagine him in a POW camp with Hitler across from him. Filmed like a bad war movie.

"All zee cool people are schmoking..."

"I'll never smoke you Nazi bastard!"

"Zis could be over right now if you vud but take a zingle puff! Vatch... (drags on cig) Ahhhh... Mmmmmmm.. Zis ist der schmoozest smoke in der verrld! Freshen Machen!"

"Well, if one puff will get you out of here, I'll take it. (grabs cig and takes one puff) Hey... That's not bad... (Takes another puff) I kind of like it!"

Guards immediately grab him and start to drag him out.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! You vill never be able to schtop! Bring in zee next prisoner."
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