David is thinking about the meat faerie (zoomardav) wrote,
David is thinking about the meat faerie

Things the People Behind Me Said During an Advance Screening of Eurotrip

Thanks to cukebrian for taking me to Eurotrip.

The row behind us was reserved for some Internet company.

There were three talkers behind us. A couple (Girl and Guy) and Steve. All three worked for the company.

Before the film:

Steve: You want some of my nuts?

Girl: I'm not interested in your nuts.

Steve: If they were someone else's nuts I bet you'd want them.

Girl: That's right, I don't want anything to do with your nuts.

Guy: Ha! Burn.

Girl: If I ate your nuts it would affect our work relationship.

Steve: I didn't even know we had a work relationship! That's progress.

During Film:

Guy: In the overhead compartment Ha!
Guy: Yeah, that's how email works.
Steve: Is that Matt Damon? What's he doing in this movie?

Girl: What the fuck did they do to his hair?

Guy: That song sure is catchy.
Girl: Oh my God that is so wrong.

Guy: He peed in the sink.
Guy: Have they ever even used email before?
Steve: Yeah right, they'd just go to Europe like that.

Guy: It's that English guy from that movie. I love him.
Girl: This doesn't make sense. Why is she naked?

Guy: Because she’s HOT!

Girl: This is a dream.

Girl: Told you.
Steve: This is stupid.

Guy: Do robots even have balls?

Girl: Shut up! You are crazy.
Guy: That was for you Steve!

Girl: Guys in Europe totally wear underwear like that.

Steve: Shut up!
Steve: Yes! They are skipping Brussels and going straight to Amsterdam!

Guy: That girl is smoking a blunt. Sweet.

Steve; Sweet.
Steve: If you eat enough hash it totally looks like that.
Girl: That sure is an expensive blow job.
Steve: That laser is on his ass.

All: Ewwwwww!

Guy: That was just wrong.

Girl: Look, he got his free t-shirt.
Steve: Oh man, kids dressed as Hitler is just wrong.
Girl: My friend Jerry brought Absinthe back from Europe. It didn't do anything when we drank it.

Guy: Then it wasn't real Absinthe.

Steve: Drinking that stuff is like drinking cocaine.
Girl: That guy is wearing a t-shirt with his picture on it. That is retarded.
Guy: Take the hat off, dumbass! Oh no, they are totally going to think those curtains are robes.

Girl: They think he's the Pope.

Steve: He is so screwed.
Guy: It's that English guy again. He is so funny.
Girl: She is going to screw him over.

Steve: You were wrong about that.

Guy: Oh my God they are totally doing it.

Girl: That's a confessional. Gross.

Girl: Ewwww!

Girl: Gross.
Girl: That's a funny shirt.

Guy: Yeah, no one would notice she's a girl.

Steve: They'll be miserable living together. I bet they break up before the first semester is over.

Girl: Shhh... They're showing bloopers.

After the movie.

Forty-Five year old guys who was sitting alone stands up and says to no one in particular:

Well, it's nice to see that teen comedies haven't changed at all since I was teen.

Nerd couple in matching black trench coats:

It was like the squished American Pie and American Wedding together into one super movie.

Crazy guy who followed cukebrian and I down the street:

"Jesus, did you see that bitch? I see her every day on the bus. She looks like a model. I've seen her like three times and today I ask her for a cigarette. What does she do? She just keeps walking... I guess us nice guys have to pay for all the jackasses out there."

A guy walks past him walking really fast.

"See, that's how crack smokers walk. Fast like that."

Me: They have to walk fast to get more crack.

"Crack is whack. I tried it once and I can tell you for sure. Crack is whack."
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