David is thinking about the meat faerie (zoomardav) wrote,
David is thinking about the meat faerie
zoomardav

Screaming Guy

Anyone who lives in a big city will tell you, if there's an angry screaming guy on the street, don't look at him. If you look at an angry screaming guy and he sees you, he's going to stop screaming at the voices in his head or his dead father and start screaming at you. That is not a good thing.

Last weekend, Nancy and I were walking around downtown Seattle doing a little shopping. From blocks away, we could hear the angry screaming guy. As we got closer, we could see he was obviously homeless and his face was gleaming with sweat. Most of the words he said were curse words, but there were no complete sentences.

"Ass of couple fuck, you shits," was one outburst I remember. Not exactly Shakespeare, but it does have a certain poetic feel to it.

Nancy and I didn't look at him as we walked past and nothing happened. We shopped for a bit and walked from store to store getting a faint blast of him whenever we stepped outside, eventually the screaming disappeared. On the way back to our car, we saw a tourist surrounded by police next to a cruiser.

The tourist was dressed in a miami vice type pastel outfit with a pinkish/salmon suit jacket over the top of a mostly unbuttoned shirt. He was telling a story to the police and then turned around to look in the rear window of the cruiser. The screamer was in the back seat and as soon as their eyes met he threw his whole body at the window and started screaming again. The tourist used the outburst to shrug and indicate to the police that the guy was obviously crazy.

As we walked away, we realized that the guy was screaming, "When I get out of this car, I'm spanking all of you. That's right I'm going to spank you! Hard!"

I think that spanking policemen is more of a fetish than a threat. I wanted to look more closely at him to see if he was serious, but I knew better.

Never, never, never look at the screaming guy.
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