David is thinking about the meat faerie (zoomardav) wrote,
David is thinking about the meat faerie
zoomardav

Jerky Nostra

Late last night, as I was walking Roscoe past the new Safeway in my neighborhood, we passed a strange man peering through the window. The store in built on an inclined road, so as you walk away from the main entrance and up the hill, the windows get eaten up by the sidewalk. At night, that awkward, overly bright fluorescent glare that seems to exist only in grocery stores lights the sidewalk like a fashion show runway. The man had an El Diablo beard and mustache. He wore an old mismatched track suit (green on top, red on the bottom) and he was slowly swaying back and forth to music from his walkman.

I looked in the window to see what he was watching. There was a couple looking through the ice cream, deciding which Ben and Jerry's flavor they would get.

The man looked up at me, his face lit from below as if he were holding a flashlight under his chin, and said, "The girl is going to buy the Beef Bites." He looked me in the eye for just a second too long before turning his attention back to the window.

I followed his lead and looked inside. Sure enough, dangling on hooks over the couple's heads, Safeway had decided to put the Oberto products above the ice cream. The woman put down the Ben and Jerry's and took a step back to survey the whole case. She said something, muffled behind the glass, and then reached up for a packet of Beef Bites. The man looked at me and laughed.

"I told you so," he said. The couple wandered away from the dairy case. The man continued to look at me expectantly, I guess waiting for a reaction.

I shrugged.

I wish he had disappeared in a puff of acrid smelling smoke, because that would be a great end to this story. Instead he just went back to watching the dairy case and Roscoe and I continued on our way home.
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