Outside the Sunset Bowl cukebrian and I were approached by a very drunk man. He could barely stand and wanted to talk to us about bowling. I could barely understand what he was saying most of the time, so my responses to him were almost random. Whenever my response confused him, he would hold up his hand for a high five and say, "You're crazy!"
He thought I had a bowling ball in my satchel and asked me how heavy it was.
I didn't figure out what he was talking about until later, so I asked, "You want to know how heavy my bowling ball is?"
He rolled his eyes back, "No dude, I want to know how heavy your life is. Ha!"
He asked us for a few dollars "to get coffee" so I took out my wallet and said, "Well, let me see what I've got."
"What are you Jewish? Cough up the bucks Koslowski. Ha ha ha ha!" He wavered back and forth and tried to elbow me, which didn't work because he was about three feet away, so I'd know he was joking.
I gave him two dollars. He folded it up and shoved it into the bottom of his front pocket. He leaned so far back Brian and I knew that he was going to fall in a few moments. We offered to take him into the bowling alley and buy him a cup of coffee. It was getting cold outside and his skin was red.
We ushered him in and sat him down. Brian went off to fetch the coffee and I stayed behind to chat. They didn't have any coffee made, so Brian brought him a cup of warm water to warm him up while they brewed coffee.
He set it down in front of the guy and said, "This is just warm water. They're brewing you some coffee. It will be up in a second."
Brian went back to tell the staff that he was there. The guy started telling me a story about how his uncle had designed the bowling alley. He got to the punchline of his story, "Jesus if the money isn't sweet if the lanes are fun. For Bowling. You're crazy," when he reached out, grabbed the cup and took a big drink. Brian appeared in the distance with the manager pointing and talking. The guy put the cup down and said, "Fuck me! That' s just hot water. What's going on? Are you trying to trick me?" Brian was too far away to hear, but he still smiled at the guys reaction.
The guy tried to stand up, but he slid back in the hard plastic chair like it was a comfortable bed. Brian walked up and told him the coffee would be ready in a minute. The guy kinda nodded his head. We left.
Brian said, "I told the manager he that guy wasn't belligerent, just drunk, and that we were afraid that he was going to fall in the parking lot and hurt himself."
I looked back through the door and he was sleeping like a baby with his hands wrapped around the glass of warm water.