David is thinking about the meat faerie (zoomardav) wrote,
David is thinking about the meat faerie
zoomardav

Found Memo

The Smoking Gun quickly posted this memo and then took it down. Luckily, it was still in my browser cache. I post it here so that you can know the truth.
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Memo From President HBO Video
To: DVD producer, Don Gardener
Re: Foley Artist Interview on Sex in the City DVD set.

Don,

First, I want to applaud your efforts on the 4th season Box Set of Sex in the City, not only does it showcase the actual program in the best possible light, it also excels in the "DVD extras". I think that we are going to win awards for that one.

That said, I would like to point out a small problem that I have with the 5th season set that is on my desk right now. Again, wonderful work, for the most part. I did, however, have a slight problem with bonus documentary on disk four entitled, "Sound in the City: The Art of Foley." While I do think that is important that the sound design of the series is recognized, is this really how we want to do it?Art Feldman, the interview subject, is a talented 50 year show business veteran, an engaging screen presence and a wonderful Foley artist, but he may err on the side of giving away too much of the magic.

Certain passages do not present the image of Sex in the City that we wish to project. Delete the following sections:

1. All instances of the phrase, “like threading a needle with 500 lb test rope”

2. "That's me sucking down overcooked spaghetti during the blow job."

3. "In reality Samantha having sex would probably sound like someone sweeping sand off a wood floor, but my damper sound effects provide the illusion of youth."

4. All discussion of the anal sex episode.

5. The visual of the sausage demonstration during discussion of the anal sex episode.

6. His last minute decision not to use the sound of a pig at a trough during the oral sex episode.

7. "We had a special challenge for the first time that Carrie, played by that pretty girl Sarah Jessica whatever the hell her name is, got schtooped by Mr. Big. I just couldn't get the right sound. Well, God provides and my toilet backed up the day I was working on it. As I was plunging it out, I realized that was the perfect sound. Just the right amount of resistance mixed with the right amount of slosh."

8. His opinion on how the final episode should end, including saying, “Jesus, I just hope they all die. I mean they all have slept with so many men they gotta have diseases, right? Or a bomb. It could end with a bomb. I’ve got a lot of great bomb sounds.”

9. His opinion that this show is about as sexy as watching reruns of Facts of Life.

10. “I would rather clean the floor of a subway restroom with my penis than have sex with any one of those girls.”

With these few changes, I think we can salvage what is otherwise an exemplary DVD Bonus section.

Again, Congratulations!


copyright 2004 David Wahl
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