David is thinking about the meat faerie

01:55 pm - Unicorn Prancing

I tried to do some unicorn prancing at work wearing our inflatable unicorn horn, but I have since been informed that I did T-Rex arms instead of unicorn hooves. Mime is complicated.

08:48 pm - I bought a lifetime Livejournal membership

That means I can ignore for years and it will still be there. Theoretically, when I die, they will remove all my content.

I am shocked at how little has changed since 2009.

04:15 pm - The Twitter Me

Boring, short things about me.

• Going to publish my memoirs in comic sans. That will make them seem friendlier and more accessible to a wider range of people. #

04:15 pm - The Twitter Me

Boring, short things about me.

• A Steaming Cup of Hate Soup - Looking inside the head of the person in front of you in Subway is.gd/d3JfN #

04:15 pm - The Twitter Me

Boring, short things about me.

• Five Things Men Discuss Openly When Women Aren’t Around is.gd/cUqRq #

04:15 pm - The Twitter Me

Boring, short things about me.

• My day: (Click cancel when it ask you to log in) is.gd/cHK9e #

04:15 pm - The Twitter Me

Boring, short things about me.

• A moment of calm. Ahhhh... #

04:15 pm - The Twitter Me

Boring, short things about me.

• The next section of my secret history of Abraham Lincoln: Confederate zombies, time travelers and circus strongmen! is.gd/8JRML #

04:15 pm - The Twitter Me

Boring, short things about me.

• Had trouble sleeping last night, kept thinking about Aquaman. Even if you could talk to fish, what the hell would they have to say? #
• Aquaman/fish convo: A: Hi fish. F: Hi Aquaman A: Watcha doin? F: Eating and pooping A: You did that yesterday F: That's what we do every day #

04:15 pm - The Twitter Me

Boring, short things about me.

• My new awesome (fake) iPad facts! is.gd/8df2K #

04:15 pm - The Twitter Me

Boring, short things about me.

• The second part of my #Bacon Eater's Manifesto is up! is.gd/7iuBE #

01:13 am - Happy New Year!

Space Needle at midnight from my place.

06:18 pm - Ottoman

Nancy reupholstered our ottoman with wood grain fabric. Awesome!

07:45 pm - Product sample of the year

When we asked for samples of tissues at work, they sent us a few boxes to show what they could do. This is the top of one of the boxes. I don't know what it was for or what it means, but it involves a bathroom, a fist and excitement!

07:06 pm - This is a picture of a taxidermied squirrel

He is wearing a Fez.